相爱容易相处难

谁都有过年少轻狂，以为爱就是一切的日子。正是抱着这种信念，很多人才得以克服种种困难最终和自己喜欢的人走到了一起。
随着成长才明白这远远不是 故事的结局，不代表童话中所谓的从此过上幸福生活。这不过是故事的开始。要将两个独立的个体融合到一起谈何容易？恋爱的时候看到 的永远是对方的好，对对方的不足之处愿意包容，双方意见不一致的时候也愿意妥协。一旦结婚，激情过后，生活中鸡毛蒜皮的事情全部暴露出来，加上不再事事包容，问题自然就出来了。
婚 后的相处真是一门学问。但说得简单一点，不过是需要两个人用心维护和浇灌。两个人各方面的想法不可避免的会有很多分歧，所以需要宽容与妥协。但如果一个家庭是靠一方的让步和妥协维持，这算不上一个和谐的家庭，迟早会出问题。所以是需要双方都意识到并用心去做的。
还 有需要时 时报有感激之心，为对方替自己做的一点一滴。一直没有习惯美国人即使对家人也把谢谢时刻挂在嘴边，但却让我领悟到在中国的文化中似乎正缺少了这个。大部分 中国人知道铭记并报答外人对自己的好，却很容易忽略家里人为自己做的一切。把对方为你做的事情视为理所当然是件非常糟糕的事情。一般来说，人如果习惯了某 件事情以后就认为是理所当然的，却忘了日复一日为你做同样的事情才是最需要爱的。用你的行动去表示感谢才能促进爱的良性循环。
其实如果双方都意识到这些问题，用心去想和做，维护爱情也许不是太难的事情。只可惜在生活中很多人从来都没有真正认真地想过，才最终导致一个又一个悲剧的结局。

爱情 婚姻 外遇 生活 - 柏拉图的问题 (Love, Marriage, Affair, Life)

柏拉图有一天问老师苏格拉底什么是爱情
苏格拉底叫他到麦田走一次
要不回头地走
在途中要摘一棵最大最好的麦穗
但只可以摘一次
柏拉图觉得很容易
充满信心地出去
谁知过了半天他仍没有回去
最后，他垂头丧气出现在老师跟前诉说空手而回的原因：
"很难得看见一株看似不错的，却不知是不是最好，不得已，因为只可以摘一次，只好放弃，再看看有没有更好的，到发现已经走到尽头时，才发觉手上一棵麦穗也没有"
这时，苏格拉底告诉他：
"那就是爱情"

柏拉图有一天又问老师苏格拉底什么是婚姻
苏格拉底叫他到彬树林走一次
要不回头地走
在途中要取一棵最好、最适合用来当圣诞树用的树材
但只可以取一次
柏拉图有了上回的教训
充满信心地出去
半天之后，他一身疲惫地拖了一棵看起来直挺、翠绿，却有点稀疏的杉树
苏格拉底问他："这就是最好的树材吗？"
柏拉图回答老师：
"因为只可以取一棵，好不容易看见一棵看似不错的又发现时间、体力已经快不够用了，也不管是不是最好的，所以就拿回来了"
这时，苏格拉底告诉他：
"那就是婚姻"

柏拉图又有一天又问老师苏格拉底什么是外遇
苏格拉底还是叫他到树林走一次
可以来回走
在途中要取一支最好看的花
柏拉图又充满信心地出去
两个小时之后，他精神抖擞地带回了一支颜色艳丽但稍稍焉掉的花，
苏格拉底问他："这就是最好的花吗？"
柏拉图回答老师：
"我找了两小时，发觉这是最盛开最美丽的花，但我采下带回来的路上，它就逐渐枯萎下来"
这时，苏格拉底告诉他：
"那就是外遇"

又有一天又问老师苏格拉底什么是生活
苏格拉底还是叫他到树林走一次
可以来回走
在途中要取一支最好看的花
柏拉图有了以前的教训
又充满信心地出去
过了三天三夜，他也没有回来。
苏格拉底只好走进树林里去找他，最后发现柏拉图已在树林里安营扎寨。
苏格拉底问他："你找着最好看的花么？"
柏拉图指着边上的一朵花说："这就是最好看的花吗。"
苏格拉底问："为什么不把它带出去呢？"
柏拉图回答老师：
"我如果把它摘下来，它马上就枯萎。即使我不摘它，它也迟早会枯。所以我就在它还盛开的时候，住在它边上。等它凋谢的时候，再找下一朵。这已经是我找着的第二朵最好看的花。”
这时，苏格拉底告诉他：
"你已经懂得生活的真谛了"

One day, Plato asked Socrates What love is.
Socrates said: I ask you to go across this rice field, pick up and bring back the biggest and best ear of wheat, but remember one thing, you cannot go back, and you just have one chance.
Then Plato did so, but he came back with nothing after a long time.
Socrates asked him why?
Plato answered: I once saw some very big and good wheat when i walked through the field, but i was always thinking that maybe there would some bigger and better ones, so i just passed by; but what i saw later is not better than before, so i had nothing at last.
Socrates said this is love.

Another day, Plato asked Socrates What marriage is.
Socrates said: I ask you to go across this forest, cut down and bring back the thickest and solidest tree as the Christmas tree, but remember one thing, you cannot go back and you just have one chance.
Then Plato did so, but he just brought back a not tall and solid but just good one.
Socrates asked him why?
Plato said: I saw some very good trees on my way in the forest, this time, i learned something from the last event of wheat, so i just chose this good one. If i didnot, i was afraid that i would come back with nothing again, though this one was not the best one i had seen.
This time, Socrates said with significance this is marriage.

One more time, Plato asked Socrates what happiness is.
Socrates said: I ask you to go across this field, pick the most beautiful flower, but remember one thing, you cannot go back, and you just have one chance.
Then Plato did so, and he came back with a fairly pretty flower.
Socrates asked him was this the most beautiful one.
Plato said: I saw this beautiful flower, picked it and thought this was the most beautiful one, when i walked in the field. And even I saw many beautiful ones, I still believed this was the most beautiful one, so i brought it back.
Then Socrates said profoundly this is happiness.

Again, Plato asked his teacher Socrates what affair is.
Socrates asked him to go through the forest again, and he could go back and bring back the most beautiful flower.
Plato went out with confidence, and came back, bring a bright but a little withered flower after two hours.
Socrates asked him whether this was the most beautiful flower.
He answered to his teacher: I was looking for the prettiest one for two hours and found this was the one, but on my way back, this picked flower was becoming withered.
Then Socrates told him this is affair.

The other day, Plato asked his teacher Socrates what life is.
Socrates asked him again to go through the forest, he could go back but must bring back the most beautiful flower.
Plate learned from last experience and went out with great confidence.
Three days passed, he didnot come back.
Socrates just walked into the forest to look for him and finally found him had pitched a camp in it.
Socrates asked him whether he had found the prettiest flower.
He pointed at a flower beside him and said this was the one.
Socrates asked him why he didnot bring it back.
He answered: If i did, it would be withered soon. Even i didnot, it would be sooner or later. So I was beside it when it was in its best blossom, and when it died, I would find the next; this was the second one i found here.
This time, Socrates told him: now you've already known the truth of life.

胡言乱语

爱情本就是自私的，付出了，自然是期待回报的。无论什么样的海誓山盟，每个人到头来最爱的还是自己。所以，爱是绝对不能拿来考验的东西。相反，我们应该加倍珍惜对方的付出，保持宽容的心态，才是正理。

话说回来，如果一个人连自己都不爱，又如何指望别人来爱你。如果连自己都不爱，又如何知道怎么去爱别人。学会爱自己，也是爱周围爱你的人的一种方式。

推荐：晴川的作品

第一次去看晴川的作品是因为大家广为推荐的韦帅望系列，确实很精彩，文笔也很好。然后就去看她其它的作品，发现她的都市作品颇有点亦舒的风格。

晴川的作品

“若我不快乐，一定是自己的错。”
If I am not happy, it must be my own fault.

- 晴川 《玉碎与瓦全》

一直很喜欢亦舒的作品。辛辣的文笔，略带刻薄，描写着现代都市女子的辛酸和执着，让人唏嘘不已。一方面知道凡事只能靠自己，冷眼看着现实的世界和周围的人，另一方面又渴望爱与被爱，坚持着自己的一份执着。怎样的一个矛盾体啊。。。等有时间了应该再把她的文章找出来看看。